Friday, June 15, 2012

Hello Dear Readers! 

Recently,  I was sent this email from a very sweet gal. She has such a heart for her husband and child, but I hear her struggle. This struggle is nothing new among new mums and wives.The world's feminist philosophy has been screaming this message to us for many years now. What's the message you ask? The message is that being a biblical keeper at home and mum to our little ones and older ones too, is a job beneath us, unsatisfying, boring, unfulfilling, that there is more noble work out there for us to do, in our churches and communities. Well, I beg to disagree with the feminists--vehemently!

God never ceases to amaze me when it comes to answering our prayers. For the last few weeks I have been considering which blog posts to import from my old blog, Blueberry Cottage. The article I am re-posting here is one I have prayed about, not sure what to do with it. Basically wondering if the content was worth a re-post! I was checking email today and knew God was answering my prayer through this young lady's note:

I've been reading your blog for some time now. I landed in your blog through "greatfulprayerandthankfulheart" blog.Your " about me " was so interesting that I couldn't  restrict myself from sending this mail:-) I'm a  born again christian. My dad is pastoring a Assembly of God church. I'm a new mother and find your blog very relating to my daily life. I used to be a sundayschool teacher before marriage.I'm very passionate about our Lord and working for Him. But now I find myself busy with household things, my newborn kid and always around him. This makes me feel as though I've lost the passion for the Lord's work. I love my husband and my family. I love to do things for them. But I also feel that I'm not doing anything for the Lord. This saddens me so much.To be frank, I'm unable to connect with my lost passion for the kids(Sunday school). Please let me know the answers for my questions. Hope I'm not disturbing you.

I did email Amanda back and address her questions. Within this post are the answers I gave her. I have edited her email for privacy and edited the following post with a bit more information than its original content.  Please, if you have a word of encouragement or wisdom   for Amanda, share it in the comments! 



As a wife and mother do you ever struggle with what your calling is?  I am sure there are many who do. We get bombarded with negative messages from the world and even well-meaning Christians in the church when we decide to be a "keeper at home". We are, sadly, lacking Titus 2 mentors these days.

  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,  to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.  Titus 2:4-5 NLT

Home is the wife and mothers true kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. But if any calls for her service must be declined, they should not be the duties of her home. These are hers, and no other one’s. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. The best husband – the truest, the noblest, the gentlest, the richest-hearted – cannot make his home happy if his wife be not, in every reasonable sense, a helpmate to him.

J.R. Miller, Secrets of Happy Home Life, 1894.


If you are a keeper of the home, are you convicted in your calling?  The home is your kingdom! No one can run your household as you are able to. It takes time and effort to keep a home. And newsflash! You have to stay home to get it done:-) 

 Being home with our children is a priviledge and the feminists
would have us believe that home equates boring and less than skilled.
Not true! Being a home manager takes guts and brains! No one but you
can efficiently run your home. ~Suzanne

Women are constantly being called off into different directions. So many need our help and we want to serve--we're born servers!  We often feel like we are not ministering because we aren't "officially" serving in the church. We don't have a title like Meals Coordinator or Sunday School Teacher.  Yet, there are new mums who need meals, elderly that need rides to appointments or just a friendly visit or help cleaning their home and so on. We can minister to these individuals at this season in life.  

Soon calling to us are  homeschool classes, music lessons, and scores of other extra curricula activities.  Should we never do any of these things? Certainly not! Some of these things are good and the Lord's will for our lives. Discernment in regards to busyness are key. We recently had to suspend an activiity two of my children were involved in. It took me out 3 times a week, which now I see was impacting our home life.  There were meals on the run or unhealthy alternatives quickly made. Less time being together was major. There is a whole different atmosphere in my home now that we "are home" more often, together.  Some well-meaning family members have commented on our children not having their "hobby". I politely tell them that we're happy, the children don't mind, as we are a family and all in this together.  We really don't owe anyone any explanations for our choices :-)

{Donna Reed preparing a home cooked meal}

The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies. A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of home happiness. God sends many beautiful things to this world, many noble gifts; but no blessing is richer than that which He bestows in a mother who has learned love's lessons well, and has realized something of the meaning of her sacred calling.

J.R.Miller , Secrets of Happy Home Life, 1894.


Do you make a sweet, beautiful home? Is it filled with love and kind words? We can be home and be so preoccupied with other things. Perhaps online time is at an all time high, or your crafting is taking up a significant chunk of your day. It takes time to clean a house and make it comfortable, cook nutritious meals and do laundry. We don't all live in homes that reflect Victoria magazine, but we really have the power to create an atmosphere of peace and loveliness. How can we also practice hospitality for our Lord if our homes show the distinct signs of neglect? Have you ever walked into a home that has a bad odor? I have and regretfully , as much as I would love to take tea with the lady of the house, I simply can't because the odor is so revolting. If your kitchen is dirty do you think a visitor would want to eat what you put out? This may sound harsh , but when I see a woman's kitchen dirty , I lose any appetite I  may have had. I am reluctant to eat anything she may prepare if there is dirt and filth.  Stong words I know ,but I can't be the only one who feels this way? It is just a turn off.  I like to keep my home as if Jesus would walk through the door. No, not every toy or book is put away and yes, there may be an overflowing laundry basket, but there is cleanliness and a comfortable spot ready to sit at.

I like how Stomie puts the question of our purpose:

God has called you to something, too.  But it will fit in with whatever your husband's calling is, it will not conflict with it. God is not an author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations.  He is a God of perfect timing.  There is a time for everything, the Bible says. The timing to do what God called each of you to do will work out perfectly, if it's submitted to God.

~ Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife

The calling of wife and mother is the most important calling in the world! It takes time to raise decent human beings that will serve the Lord. It takes time to make a home lovely, a place of refuge for all who enter.  Let us embrace our calling and take it seriously!

{ladies bible study}

Yet, I do understand how a woman like Amanda is able to feel the way she does in the above email. One can feel a bit lonely, disconnected.  Let's face it, most women in the church today are not home being helpmeets to their husbands or full-time mums. They are off working 40 hours a week, sadly. What I always suggest is connection to others who are like-minded. Find a MOPS group in another church if yours doesn't have one. Start a weekly or monthly Bible study in your home for new moms and wives. Learn together! Join a home school group, even if you don't homeschool yet--there is usually a lot of mums with littles in the home school circle who would love to connect with you.

Another way to connect, but I need to warn you to be careful, is through online blogs. They can suck you in! There really are so many good ones:-)  One blog where you can receive Godly counsel is through Andrea at Rightthinker-Promoting A Woman's Right To Love Her Role. This is a great article , among many. She doesn't mince words mind you. Biblical advice regarding our Biblical roles straight at ya!  Also, Raising Homemakers is another good site. There are many women there sharing Godly counsel and encouraging women in their role as helpmeet, wife and mum.

If I can stress anything of importance in this small space, it is that your calling, that of wife and mother is appointed and annointed by God, who does not make mistakes. Your the only qualified applicant for the job of your husband's wife and your children's mother--embrace it and take it seriously. Time is short!


  1. I think sometimes it is easy to minimize the impact that we have as mothers and wives. We are not just raising children; we are shaping human beings, and exemplifying for them the values that we hold in the hope they understand and hold tight to our values, too. We are not just fulfilling spousal responsibilities; we are acting as helpmates in whatever work our husbands do. We give them the energy, will and ability to do their jobs through our cooking for them, caring for their clothing, running errands, scheduling appointments, and cleaning the house they come home to at the end of the day to retreat from the outside world.

    What we do IS ministry. God gave us our husbands. He gave us our children. He selected us for them, and them for us. By fulfilling our roles, we ARE serving God's will. We're ministering to our family members, so they can minister and witness to others.

    I can't think of anything more important, or more humbling, than that.

  2. It truly is an art to orchestrate a home and to raise children. And a blessing to be able to stay home. Sadly, I know many women who would like to, and their husbands force them to work. And oftentimes these marriages end up in divorce. These women need our prayers.

    And I really like how you write about sticking at home and not feeling as if we have to be out volunteering, or have our children in alot of outside activities. I always felt these things break down family life, and our family unit only did things together; we did not go our separate ways while the children were young.

  3. Well, I'd posted a comment. Not sure what I said that led you to feel the need to take it down, Suzanne, but if I was inappropriate in any way I do apologize.

    1. Katie,
      So sorry for the mix up! Your comment never came through, it went to the spam folder. I am not sure why it did that--I have never had a comment go to spam and therefore have never checked! I will check my spam box everyday now:-( I am so, so sorry, your comments here are always valuable and I am sure this caused you some worry. Please do come back and let me know your not too terribly offended by my lack of administrative skills...boy, these new features with blogger takes a bit of getting used to:-)

    2. Oh, thank you for letting me know what happened, Suzanne. I was so afraid I'd somehow offended you! Silly spam folder. Can't it see that I look more like chicken than spam? ;)

  4. "more like chicken than spam" HA very funny.

    My father-in-law was an elder of their church for several years. My mother-in-law was attending a ladies' day type of thing one weekend. The talk turned to ministry. It seems the hot issue was womens' ministries. Someone rather rudely looked at my mother-in-law and asked, "And what is YOUR ministry, Miss _____ ?" My mother-in-law smiled and said, "I take care of your elder."

    I was so heartened to hear her response. We exaust ourselves running to and fro tending to things that aren't primarily ours to attend to, and then we have no energy for the first things that God has given us to do.


    1. HA! Susan, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when your MIL gave that response! Smart woman:-)

  5. I would just add that raising her child to love, honor, and serve God, and caring for her home and ministering to her husband is her ministry at this time in her life. I've felt the stress and seen the effects on my family of trying to be too many things to too many people. My priority has to be God, marriage, children, and caring for my home is part of my responsibility toward God, marriage, and children. It is obedience to God's word and I am able to minister to the needs of my family because I am home and not some place else.

    I would say to your reader, "Focus on your family and home in this season of life - that is where your ministry lies. For encouragement try to connect with other women who are like minded in knowing where there priorities lie, but stay focused on the main thing!" If I could suggest a couple of websites: WomenLivingWell.org and GoodMorningGirls.org (sister site to Women Living Well where women study the Bible together).

    1. Thanks Missy, more affirmation on the importance of our roles! Sounds like you got it down--AMEN!


Thank you so much for poppin' in and saying hello! I read all my comments and any questions I answer right here, so if you have one, check back:-)
Have yourself a darling day,
Suzanne a.k.a. Not Quite Donna Reed